dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
