i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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