Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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