Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
