god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize