Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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