just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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