I'm drive I can fine osifer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
