Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize