One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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