nut hugger
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
send nudes
from the living room?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
