I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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