I think I just saw someone hide a body.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
