You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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