It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
