I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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