Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
