I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
