Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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