If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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