brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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