This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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