She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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