can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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