happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
