we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
