Do vagina's smell?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
