Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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