hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
