hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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