Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
