so that wasnt chicken after all
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
