he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
