hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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