I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
