everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
