so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
