Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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