after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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