It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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