Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
