Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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