Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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