You're completely useless in the revolution.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
