Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
