He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize