HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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