Porn is love you can see.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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