Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
