I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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