New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
