i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
