apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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