I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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