Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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