So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
