i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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