No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We need to get me chipped asap
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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