I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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