you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if only i could text you this smell
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
