Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This baby is an asshole
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
