haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
