she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
