going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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