Non-Jews are for practice
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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