That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize