is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
